Trick or Treat, Smell my Feet
This is a follow up to Sarah’s Halloween haiku referencing batman…there’s a short story there.
Sarah and I sat our in our driveway last night handing out candy to the neighborhood chitlins. We bought a metric ton of candy and, near 7:15, were running low. Evidently, our neighbors have been getting busy because there were a lot more kids than last year.
Anyway, back to the story. So we were down to 17 pieces left in the bowl and this somewhat rotund batman character came running (good for him) towards us (bad for us). I said the same thing I’ve said to the previous 70 kids, “Hey there, how are you doing? Great…help yourself to one piece, please.”
Seeing that he was going in for the ol’ dip and scoop, I made a move to pull back the bowl. He was a pro, though (and a superhero), so my effort was in vain. He escaped with 5-6 treats. I shouted, “hey–just one! I’m almost out of candy, Batman! Jeepers!” He didn’t care and ran off to join his parents and hop in the wagon so he wouldn’t have to even carry his excessive, stolen bounty. This kid was about 10, I’d say.
If the story ended here, I’d stop writing. It goes on…
Five minutes later, Batman has made his way around the cul-de-sac and…comes back to our house. I kid you not. He never even walked up the street! He basically went from my house, to my neighbor, and back to my house.
I pull the bowl before he even touched the driveway. He ran up, eager for another scoop, and I shut him down. I said something like, “you know what, Batman? A few minutes ago you came over here and took a handful of candy even though I told you you could have one piece. No more for you.”
He cried a little inside, I’m sure, and waddled back over to his parents. Here’s the best part: he told his parents, as best as we could tell, “they–they–they wouldn’t give me any candy!”
In response to that bs, I walked over and…ah what’s the point…I didn’t do anything. The kid left and probably fell asleep with chocolate all over his face and jelly beans stuck to his fingers with a titanic tummy ache.
Other than this kid and the two teenagers that were dressed as teenagers, the kids were great and we had a good time.